Tuesday, September 23, 2008

i wonder if he ever reads my blog besides the times i asked him to.



today, for the first time in a long time, i ran home. the loneliness kicks in everytime i walk the path. everything reminds me of him, its scary.

i need to rant my unhappiness, and this is especially for you

Do you remember how difficult it was for us to be together? those hardship and sufferings we went through even before you decided we should be together. you know, for sure, the pain u had to overcome and the guilt in me still lies within.

that is why i always treasure our relationship.

we grew so strong as a couple, no problems were big enough to put us down. i thought we were made for each other, i thought we were unbreakable.. i could really imagine spending the rest of my life with you as my partner.

and just one fine day, you came along and tell me that our relationship is getting dull. and you find me irritating. and that you've stop loving me, from some time ago. you have been cheating on me this while, i hate you for this.

i feel nothing's changed between us, its you who changed. while i am still the same old chelsea. if you loved me the way i am, why all the sudden change? this i cannot get. we've come to a stage where not only the both of us are concerned. its our families, friends and the people around us. and you take our relationship so lightly?! what am i to you? a toy? where u get it, play with it, and then you get bored, so you throw it away?

i am uttlerly disappointed in you, irresponsible bastard. you are selfish, a guy with no commitment and totally not trustworthy. i'll always remember 1 promise you made: to never give me up without a fight. yet you cannot even keep that, wuss!

whatever it is, i accept it and glad we are through :) it saved me much troubles thinkin of a reason to break up when i'm leaving overseas next yr. i bet all the reasons to break up are gonna be lame, like how yours are a joke as well. BUT i'd like to think that you are doing this to make things easier for me, so that you'd be the one who's sorry and i dont have to be a bitch at the end of the day. yup!

and you know what, after all that you've done to me, despite all the harsh words i used on you. i cannot bring myself to hate you because my heart melts every time i see you. i am so dumb.. but at the very least, i hope we can remain friends like we used to be before we got tgt. please just dont ignore me :)


for all the good times we spent together these 10 months....

i may have a weak heart, but i'm not weak! i'm gonna be stronger than before, i'm gonna survive equally well without you :)

but i am still looking forward to be friends with you like before.

for now, ive stopped loving you

this is how my story ends